Since you probably can’t read it, I’ve typed out the body copy below. Just assume a big force field of “[sic]” shields the whole megillah:
A light blue plastic Valet with a: “Women Finance” written on it, was founded on the 4th floor.
The owner of property please see (redacted) or Doorman on dutty.
Please feel free to ask if any question regarding this matter.Questions? Don't mind if I do!
Am I in a Hitchcock film? Is this some kind of code? Is this a put on to see who shows up to claim the “valet”? Will it be a MAN?
And while I added the redactions to protect the innocent and heighten the clandestine effect, those things that look like human hairs are not Photoshop magic. There were two strands stuck to the paper (under the glass, eww). The operative clearly needs some schooling in keeping their DNA to themselves.