And The Survey Says...

What's in the Daily News? I'll tell you what's in the Daily News. Story about a man bought his wife a small ruby With what otherwise would have been his union dues. That's what's in the Daily News…

Yes, showtunes. Specifically, “Guys and Dolls,” for those of you familiar with Marlon Brando’s exploits on a Triumph, not on soft shoe.

Bear with me.

I’ll tell you what was in the NY Daily News this morning: a report of a survey indicating that women feel “old” at 29 while men don’t feel past their prime until 58. What’s the reason for the disparity in age perception between the guys and the dolls? Well, as I’m sure no one would have guessed, the study determined that women judge age by physical features while men gauge age based on sex drive.

The highly scientific poll was based on the feedback of 1,000 respondents. It was conducted on the web and funded by British-based Avalon Funeral Plans. I suppose it may have had something to do with trying to figure out when people feel “old” as that might spur them to start casket shopping. I mean, I am certainly over 29. And, as those of you who have witnessed my post-martini “I need Botox” spiel can attest, the possibility exists that I just might check out Bloomingdale’s Big Brown Box sale this weekend. Friends and Family plots…20% off!

This survey may or may not be worth anything in terms of social research, but it did make me think about a not-so-phenomenal phenomenon I regularly encounter in the media. That is the propensity to offer an “excuse” for calling attention to the attractiveness of any women over the “it” age of 29. You know the routine – 30-plussers can never be referred to (directly or indirectly) as just beautiful or (God forbid) hot. It’s always X, Y, or Z has a “flawless face,” “lustrous locks,” or “upper arms as unshakable as armor.”

Yeah.

I am happy to say there was one positive aspect to the article. The Daily News reported that many New Yorkers basically called horseshit on the study; they claim age is just a number.

Maybe it is, maybe it ain't. Maybe I should go back to reading the NY Post. But then I’d never be tempted to break into showtunes like some crazy "old" doll!